Golden Aspirations

The Olympics are something magical, and I am just another junkie this week, eating up every carefully choreographed "local girl does good" story.

in 1984, I imagined myself vaulting into history in Mary-Lou Retton's star-spangled gymnastics uniform.

 In the  early 90s, I was star-struck the evening I ran into figure skater Debi Thomas in the ladies' room at a B-52s concert. 

I've watched Misty May and Kerri Walsh bring beach volleyball into national prominence, over more than a decade.

I've learned the basics of Curling.... from a TV morning show host.

I've watched every medal ceremony starring an American athlete that I can find and stay awake for.

And I. Eat. It. Up.

During those podiums where Americans win gold, I move my lips and debate with myself:   When I am up there someday,  will I quietly  mouth the words, or sing them loud and proud (if out of key).

But here's my secret:  I will never actually be on that podium.  

I can give you a million reasonable excuses why:  I'm uncoordinated, I stink at sports, I overthink too much. Heck, at 38 I'm just plain too old for most of them.

But the reality is, that competition is  just not my thing. I just don't like working at beating other people. I don't like video games that pit me against a fellow player. I've never been much for Monopoly.

Don't get me wrong:  When put it competitive situations, I can and do fight for myself or my team - I've won plenty (especially where logical thought is involved), and lost more than a few.  

But competition begins to turn many otherwise good people, myself included, into someone ugly. Someone who wants to take the advantages at the expense of the competition.   Someone who puts too much store by "winning", and loses sight of the true goal of the competition, that we are all really only competing against ourselves.

So when these athletes compete, and especially manage to remain full of a sense of good sportsmanship and fun during the process, even, occasionally, at the expense of a win, I admire them that much deeper.  I watch the Olympics less for the medals, and more for the joy of thinking myself something better, something stronger, something more capable of handling both victory and defeat with grace.. of being something more than I am.  The Olympics are Hope.

And, yeah, if I ever should win Gold (overthinking as a sport? anyone?)...
I'm totally going to belt out my nation's anthem on the podium.

Unless they make me wear spandex on international TV.